31 July 2009 10:49 PM
Mood : appreciated/ happy
this week, alot of things happened. meet the parent, class photo taking, team photo taking,
testimonial match. and i tried to stay focused on studies, but is kinda diff . hais .
meet the parent.
wed, 8am. meet the parent with my ct and miss usha.
it was so scary . i dun know wad to say. and i know my mum is super reluctant and pissed off,
cos she need to meet the teachers again . 2 nights before, i just had a fight with my parents,
they threaten to lock me outside again. yah, i cried, and was so angry why dun they understand
me. or maybe i dun. so much things were going through my mind. i somehow really dun feel
like going home . i dun know wad should i do, wad should i feel. sound dumb. miss usha came,
we sat down and talk . she look at the teachers' comment about me. and she read for quite long,
i'm so worried lah, dun know wad did the teachers wrote about me. while she read,
she smile .
den she turn and look at me and asked: " how u feel about your results?"
i replied:" not good, very bad?"
she asked again: "do u know why u did not do well for yr tests?
i replied: " i did not put in enough effort."
she said: " what and how u measure efforts? how much effort to you means it enough?"
i dun know how to reply, i'm so scared, i dun know wad to say. i dun know wad's the ans
i paused for a while, before she said: " see u dun even now how much efforts mean enough?
girl, it's not tt u did not put in effort, u did. see, ur teachers wrote tt u improved, and u showed
tt u tried ur best. it's not tt u did not put in effort. you are a good girl. "
my ct add on: " u always feel bad when u tried, but see no results. u feel lousy. no confidence."
i'm shocked ttm !! **SHOCKED** not even my mum understand this part of me. i nvr like to
show out my weakness. probably no one understand this except for God i suppose. yah..
i tried . but somehow, i always feel tt i tried not enough. cos i not showing the results i want.
i feel so demoralised, so lousy. and gave up . but somehow, my ct pulled me up,
it's not the first time, it's like the third or fourth time le.
miss usha suggested some studies method to me,encouraging and explainin to me.
while on the other side, my mum complained about me not studying, or i go out to study,
but mayb i'm not study, but playing. i dun focus, but use com, play bball, stay out late
at night.. blah blah blah... becos i dun study at home, is not i dun wan, but i can't.
due to the fact tt i always go out to study till late night, 11pm?? they dun really
trust me whether i'm really studying a not or just go shopping and fool around.
but i heard my ct says: " i trust tt she's not tt type of girl. she will study. and she did try.
but seriously her study method is wrong, and she's sort of stubborn. will wan to figure her
way out herself till the extend tt she really cannot den she will go for consultation. it's okie. becos i myself during student's days, i will stay in library from 8am to 11pm. she did try, and she not tt type will not study type"
omg!!! shocked once again . my ct knows me so well lah . i can't believe it.
he gave me tt trust i need . he gave me the courage and tt understanding which my parents
dun. i felt so appreciated . but my mum seem not very convinced. i felt better after tt though.
really thankfull . on the same day,is "ct cum class party" day . our ct treated us macdonalds!!
DOUBLE FILET O FISH !! hahas!! it cost him around 100 over bucks lo. hahas!!
today
we had our team photo taking and testimonial match . hahas . it's quite fun though.
magnus was forced to take with us . hahas!! so funny . den, our testimonial match,
vs j1s . quite surprisingly we won . it's not tt we are gd,neither the j1s are lousy . they are making progress . but mayb due to "pressure-free" we played well today . yeah !!
all the best to the j1s !! hope they will go far next yr .
okie . bed time !! gd night !!