Coding/Design: Yours-Tragically
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am i or am i not?

HAO FAN AHHH!!!!!
falling into the trap willingly....
entering a brand new start line.
anxiousness,jealousy,sweet,cute,gentle.









-eliniaiazubow-
-flownaway-

Feels: better .

dun feel so sick today! still having tt manly voice though ( and i tou chi ba gua still) hahas!! bah....
quite turn off now, just receive news tt tml gt CSE lecture *yucks* but i ain't going ! gt jimmy's remedial. i need to do well for econs!! one of my most hopefull subject i guess. hahas

okie, going to mug in sch tml =D
REALLY NO TIME !!! when i see the calendar, how i wish i have atleast a week more?! omg.
how i wish i see the columns/rows wrongly tt i still have atleast 1 week more . dang!!
this most likely to be my last post till 1st DEC'09 !!

peeps, pls pray for me! and J2s WORK HARD! all the best! (although u all are my rivals, argh! but we're no doubt on the same boat now) JIA YOU !! byes!!

Feels : irritating/GUILTY

i having sore throat !! ahhh... irritating, itchy throat -.- feel like scratching the walls of the throat, wad tt bio term? gullet? hahas!! can't remember . is like needles poking my throat.

i didn't study much today . SUPER GUILTY !! ahhh . should i go study now? yes i should right?! yah . going to do my econs? or should i do math? haiyooooo.... i'll math bah . hahas . dang...

lots of things happened today . lazy to talk about . it isn't something pleasant also . i'm really scare tt i can't make it for A's . hais . how?!?!? wad should i do... i'm studying... revising... issit goin to work? really afraid now . how's other doing now? are they studying much more harder than me . i know i haven been putting 100% effort .

AND !!! ALL THESE NEED TO STOP !!!
100% EFFORT !! 100% !!! no more half hearted girl! u cannot afford to be the way u use to be le !! WAKE UP GIRL !! WAKE UP !!!


ni dui wo tai hao le... super not use to it . i don't know, i can't figure out what/how u're really feels? wad's ur thoughts? as in feelings . ahhh... so weird right?? dun ever treat me too well . esp guys, this is a warning . all guys out there, dun ever treat girls too well . not gd de .

sam and gab ask me b4.. wad if one day i found out u are going out with another girl "secretly",
wad will i do/feel . for tt instant, i dun know wad to reply them . i dun know wad am i feeling . i feels tt ya, it's okie, i dun hav the rights to be angry, i won' t feel it's not okie or being cheated or wadsoever. but for a second thought, will i be able, or will i really feel this way, can i really accept it as "it's okie" i think i can, but i think, mayb i can't . weird . wad's this? -.-lll

den this qn came across my mind, wad if one day i tell u tt, i dun love u anymore, i dun hav tt special feeling anymore, not because someone has replaced u. wad/how will u feel? will u mind, or u won't even feel a single thing at all?

Feels: afraid, worried

my wai po isn't doing well . 80 plus yr old le, and she just gt a mild stroke. and tt doc said tt she can be discharged aft 2 day out form HCU ?! she haven even recover well i think . she's now back home . but from wad i heard, she's really not doing well . lost of appetite, she dun even have the strength to walk for like 5m? and she kept on sleeping whole day . it isn't a very gd sign . the amount she eat and drink is like so little . she won''t have tt strength and nutrients de gosh .
i'm really afraid . i haven done my part well to visit her regular. our huang tai hou's face more and more qiao cui each time i visit her . going to have my A's soon . i dun wan anything to happen. for my sake and for hers too . everyone, pls pray for her recovery . thanks .

God, pls atleast let me have a chance to do my part as a grandaughter ="(

Feels : unproductive .

went to Jy's sch to study with her and benjamin . hahas . kinda weird at first. it's not my sch. and is like some top JC, feel so diff . whole sch was so quiet, only can hear our own writing sound and benjamin's sneezing (havin flu) hahas . for 6 hours, i only finsh econs hmwk, one math prelim paper, and compre's all short qns so slow and not productive !! but i think tt's my hmwk for the week? except for chem, which going to do it tml i suppose . hais . am i to slow? gosh .

and... yah, studying period, i for sure gain weight . eat and sit down eat sit down . argh...
2kg leh!! need some control.. no eating for the coming week, save some money, going deficit real soon.

back to work.

Feels: Tired/ unproductive (hais)

feel so so gulity . still lots of work not done yet !! NO TIME AH !!! hais .
LYNN! U NEED TO BUCK UP & STOP WASTING TIME !!

feels: happy

i have just end a rollercoaster ride. a ride i nvr want to take again .

being a bridemaid is very fun !! hahas . very tiring . but met alot of funny and nice people . wedding is real tiring . gosh . hahas . very tired . too much ups and downs . gd night !
blessed =D

i feel so so so bad .
i hate it . hate such situation . i feel worst now than ever .
wo hen xiang jen xiang jian ni, hen xiang hen xiang bao ni.
i miss u alot .

i dun wan to be a crying puffer fish eyes bridemaid tml .

Feels : excited

tml will be my cousin's wedding!! and i'm going to be one of the bridemaids . hehes!! excited . but need to wake up at 5am in the morning . hahas . luckily it's only wedding lunch not dinner =D
hmm... are we meeting tml? kinda disappointed, but somehow a bit relieve .

I WANT TO BUY MY PURSE TML !! hopefully ...

Feels : bored

i'm still doing cse essay at this hour **sian** hahas . no choice, had to hand up tml . hahas.
is so boring, keep writing facts after facts . yucks . hais . prelim results not getting better, not worsening also . all U and S as predicted . not very demoralise, but i know i can do better .

tu ran jian, ni hao xiang bu jian le . ni jiu xiang feng yi yang, shui yi er lai, shui yi er qu .

sometimes,
feel tt "ni bu yao li wo hao mah?",

but, other times,
feel like "where are u? i need you . hais"

when hu si luan xiang, pms,
"are u trying to hong wo er yi? can u treat me better?"


how important are u actually to me? or u are not at all? how important am i to u actually?
ni dui wo de hao, shi wo zhen de xiang yao de "hao" mah? how much do u really understand me? u seem to understand me very well, but somehow it don't seem to be the case. ni cai de bah?


what if i lie to u, i did things that i promise/said i will not do,
will u forgive me?

ppl might feel tt i have changed, being "badly" influenced by them. but i dun feel tt way. wad's so bad about it? because, i know wad am i doing and i know how to takecare of myself . it's not everyone who does tt is bad . many ppl have a misconception of it i think . doing tt doesn't mean i have changed in terms of character or principles, i am still who i am .

ppl say ying man is worst than doing wrong . but telling the truth will hurt/destroy rls.
shou le hui sheng qi, bu shou, is worst than zhuo cuo shi . it's so confusing .

Mood: idk . weird. jealous. can't be bothered?

we start to get back our prelim results today .
econs P2, 13/25. 13/25. 5/25! P2 overall S. omg
math: U . i failed math . miss lim will be so disappointed.
chem gen bu yong jiang, confirm 100% U. CSE, from Mr chan's
tone, bu bao le bah . anyway, he grade us into A and B group.
Elites and slow learners . WTH right . bias somehow . duh...
jealous? idk, a bit? but seriously i can't be bothere, neither do i wan to.
so wad? i dun need a A in CSE, i just need a C or B . wad i really aim for..
Econs:B, Chem:C, CSE: C, Math:A, GP:C . ppl might say, wad a lousy A'level
grade . so wad? i dun need wadever STRAIGHT As to go uni . i wan to go NIE,
or some fine arts courses in uni. i know wad i want for . and i will work towards it
stop showing sacarsms or try to demoralise me or something . u ppl just go away.
ironically, is tt airpork? suaning and suaning for 1 hr . wadever....

after night study, went to lot1 for dinner . and with the 2 xiao di mens, we started to play with ATM. not really play, but to explore UOB's ATM. they just applied for the Gold R Card today.
which i had it alr . and so we tried to explore the features and facilities in there . and i realise,
i can check my acc no. and balance on the ATM, which i tried for so long but failed. but they did it . hahas!! omg . really IT dumbo . we went to set our own acct transaction display. really quite stupid though . three 18 year old JC students figuring with a ATM . hahas! bahh...

saw pr selling mooncakes again . hope she really doing fine . she looks tired .
friendship last a lifetime. it doesn't matters who u are, what u are . a boy, a girl, straight, les, gay. all these doen't matters . they are the people tt walk with u through thick and thin, supporting u.
this relationship is even stronger than love relationship . nothing can breaks it . not even fights nor arguements, cos friends forgive and accept one another for who they are .