Coding/Design: Yours-Tragically
Images: Wonder Girls Wonderland

October 2006
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January 2007
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May 2007
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November 2007
January 2008
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March 2008
April 2008
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July 2008
August 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009

went study with jy . hahas . i spent like 1.5 hrs for 2 qns of chem tutorial. omg .
just now zi yang called and told me to call mr chan, i called but he having dinner,
and said tt he will call back cos my proposal gt some problems . but he haven called back .
omg !! veri worried . wad's e problem?? i dun wan to re-do or something . hahas!!
when is he gonna call me??!! veri scared . hahas .

i'm okie alr . surpirsingly . ya xiang tong le, should be xiang tong le . for now i think i xiang tong le, knowing wad i realli want . even if in the end we are not together, e gal u are with must be someone tt's up to match with u, if not i'll nvr agree and accept her as sis-in-law .

jy just upload e video up on facebook . veri funny.
e moments realli fun and happy . realli love e times we spent together .
letting go and treating u as bro is two different things right? trying to let go, but can't treat u as bro, e feelings is too different, too difficult.
haven realli been gd . i dun know wad to do either .
veri unstable . ah!!! i wanna be happier .
yh and ling rong entered pjc le .
A'dvs or Youth cup??


giving them a chance to experienced A'dvs,
although knowing e outcome will be quite tragic?
it's my last chance of play A'dvs, last chance to perform.
but i need ppl to support me too, i think i deproved le .
e confidence lvl drop . really can do it??
wanting to play youth cup isn't really cos tt team is better,


or be selfish, choose to give up on A'dvs and play youth cup?
but i would want to play with them, 4 yrs de teamspirit and love,
is something tt's noth can replaced . i'll be happier to play there .
i feel tt i'm realli playing bball, i felt e aggressiveness and e passion of bball.
i felt tt e whole team is realli thriving for tt win, and not thriving alone .
is the feel, a feel tt's cannot be replaced.

" When you look up into the blue sky, you will find a great BIG SMILE through the clouds. SMILES are what fill us with delight and bring us back to our gd old days. Open your heart and make space for others. Whatever you dream of, you can make it come true. "


e smile is disappearing .
i need a shoulder to lie on,
a shoulder that realli knowing what i feels.
aft a thunder storm, should be okie .
but thunder storm needs somewhere to "storm" at.
i need a day of quiet time by my own .
if u still can find tis msg, i realli pei fu ni. still can't sort it out. i'm not okie . sometimes i realli hope tt u can disappear den appear again when i'm okie . but it's quite stupid . i'm at lost . mo ming qi miao de tong.
gt e photos from jy and pr le . they are really nice.
thanks alot .

i dun know wad to do?
hen fan ah!!
i wan to let go !! i realli wan to
but why it seem so difficult .

had dinner with e usual 7 of us, debra mia again, and coach!!
coach is late again, as usual . hahas . we had dinner @ ps .
is so so fun!! hahas!!! alot of laughter and jokes . hahas .
aft eating, e staff crew came with e birthday cake for both coach and xy .
we sang happy birthday twice . making both of them veri ma lu!!!
hahas!! actualli coach's birthday is on 26th jan and xy is 29th jan
coach turn 30 YEARS OLD !!!! hahas . and xy is in her SWEET 18 !!
i'm turning 18 too k!! 17 more days!!
we took alot a lot a lot of photos realli ALOT . hahas
realli veri fun and enjoyable night . reach home at about 11.15??
woah, no scoldings!! mama slept already . papa won't scold.
i wan to upload e photos frommy phone but e stupid laptop can't function well.
argh. hahas . hoping to get ephotos from pr and jy soon !!!!! there's a lot of ugly and unglam photos of us and coach. can go sell his alr, sure can earn money de . hahas !!!
tml still gt sch.... bedtime .

stop peeking . but u gave me too much hope in e beginning, or maybe i given it too much hope tt it's realli diff to let go now. i keep telling myself not to give up yet . but i know e chances very low de . is not tt i veri bei guan or wad . girls' sixth sense veri zhun de .

tt day @ a bookshop, i came across this , and i felt a touched in my heart, it's so so so true .

MEMORY is...
a way of holding onto the things you LOVE,
the things you ARE,
the things you NEVER WANT TO LOSE .


this simple phases of words meant so much .
all these happy memories,
my family, dunearn team or him,
it meant a lot.

u guys are e people i realli love,
e people tt help me grow,
e people i won't wanna lose .

tml sch reopen!! -.-
hmwk!! omg . hahas . i dun even have e mood to do .
jy tml no sch lah . hahas . tml going to have donner with
them . hahas !! celebrate both coach and xinyu's birthday.
can't wait to meet up with them again . hahas!!!




i wanna hug u!!
i really miss e warm,
comforting and wei xin hug!!
i simply can't treat u like my bro.
realli can't . and i also dun know why
i love u so much . u're not tt perfect either,
not veri veri handsome, or superb hao nan ren.
u aren't tt gd right?? u have a lot of negative pts too.
but why??!! argh. simply blinded by love .

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY coach!
omg . he's 30 alr . hahas . okie,i'm veri bad . hehes .
watching 40-yr old virgin now . so damn funny!! hahas!!
omg . e show a bit dumb though . hahas .

1st day of cny . TIRED . hahas .
this yr due to economic crisis .
me angbaos lessen -.- hahas .
2nd round of collecting tml,
but still gt hmwk not done yet .
dun tink it will be done too hahas!!!!

okie back to e show . hahas!!!

all sudden i miss u alot .
we won't get a chance to meet
up untill my birthday right?
wanting me to treat u like my bro is like,
DIFFICULT .
nan li ke nen, e feelings is there,
it can't be changed . u get it??
no, u dun . realli hope u are by my side .

U REALLY FORGOTTEN WAD U PROMISE ME !!!!!!!
damn disappointing can !! hais . heartbroken .

LOUSY MEMORY !!! hahas . shocked me lo =((
WARNING :
U BETTER REMEMBER TO TAKE LEAVE !!!
if not i go bpp put u on e bbq grill and bbq u like
e ba guas !!!

awww!!! he's still working -.-
hahas!!! okieokie, shouldn't complain .
atleast he's happier and gt something to do.
hahas . buden HOPE he REMEMBER 15 FEB AH!!!
if not damn disappointing HOR !!! hahas!!!

buden he sound quite sad/sian. quite a lot of ppl of his
workplace nvr work aft cny . haiyo . jia lat. hahas .

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR !!!
it's my chi birthday k!!! wahahas!!
i'm born in e first day of cny in yr 1991 =D
so special right, total defence day too.

today veri not productive . i didn't complete a single hmwk .
hahas!! keep meddling with my blogskin . hahas!!! omg .
still gt lots of hmwk. going national library tml. hais . sian .
this cse idenpendent study thingy, force me to read books and do
alot of research lah . i can say e books and stuff i need to read for
this thingy combine together is more den wad i read for 4 yrs in
sec sch for slient reading(cos i dun realli read) . hahas!!!

went to batok to meet e rest, den back to my hse we were doing
presents for both our coach and e beloved xin yum's bdae presents.
tmlmorning still needa go church . bedtime!! gd night !!

now i know u will come and read . hahas .
actualli i didn't know u will lah. quite surprised.

hahas !!! i'm realli xin wei and comforted aft wad u say .
wo ming bai le . 3 nights nvr msg also possible .
nothing is impossible le bah . hahas!!!
i know what type of "me" is e happiest . i believe i can.
is not tt diff afterall right?? hahas!!! okie bedtime!!!
** DA GOU GOU** hahas!!

didn't go to sch today!! went to town with jy they all.
jy is doing some last min shopping for cny clothes .
hahas . saw a lot of new stuff . buden i bougth mine alr.
too bad.... hahas . aft tt went to pr's hse eat and chit-chat.
she's like entering into her "la-la" land . hahas . but yah,
he's a gd guy lah . even if they realli go one big round,
and back together again, it's worth it and fated bah.
**envy leh!!!! **


i'm just not myself . zhi zi bian zhi zi -.-lll
need to xue ze become more "woman" independent.
i know it will be e best for me . but as wad pr and xy say too,
for me to learn how to be tt will be a doubled effort compared to pr.
i naturally don't hav tt strong-minded and independent personality as i look .
i may look strong-minded in e team, but i'm not in real .
it will be a veri bumpy road ahead k . JIA YOU !!




ur msg is just all about her, her, and still her.
even if u realli accidentally fall for her,
it isn't surprising at all . isn't it??
even if i gan dao yi wan ge de bu an,
it's also impossible for me to say it out right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY !!

hahas . i'm done with my cse proposal .
oh yeah!!! hahas . damn tired .
my stupid friendster acc kena some
stupid virus now i need to create a new one .
wth . hais . wasting my time leh . hahas.


i msg-ed u . but u didn't replied .
where are u??

FLU FLU FLU !!!
hao xin ku ah .
nose blocked. awww..

veri sleepy...
but need to complete CSE proposal by tonight
hais . BUT !! not goin sch tml, go see doc and get MC !
hahas!! going to bath now =D



although didn't msg-ed,
but still feel like doing so

having GP lesson in com lab now.
a bit sian . need to do research again,
about UN (politics) .

having flu!! nose blocked, and my throat pain -.-
realli hope i hav fever now den can go home.
den go rush my cse proposal !!
due date coming soon!! omg..
i didn't know untill my classmate told me just nw.
okie, back to UN ...

FLU !!! and slight sore throat .
omg . one piece of ba gua is so powerful.
feeling sick... i think really fa re le .

having tests aft tests, and CSE PROPOSAL !!!
this proposal is really killing me! argh...
but realli thank God, everything is realli well planned
i only need to hand in e proposal tml night through email,
luckily not TONIGHT . if not i dun need to sleep le.
back to econs.... JIA YOU !!!

**hw i hope i just have fever tml morning!! den dun need go sch!! **
HAHAS !!!!!

needa keep on studying for tests . hais .
veri irritated by my sis's crying,mourning sound...
fighting with her bf again. damn distracting can.
super bu zi dong . i'm already not in a good mood!!!

loving someone need to be so xin ku de mah .
the more i think about, scarier it gets .
loving someone should be something happy and xin fu about
why i keep seeing and hearing those cryings,
and i myself felt so hurtful even .
why so much distrust, and unhappiness ? i hate it .
i hate myself tt i can't control my emotions . argh....

back to studies....

i lied. i lied to you. i'm sorry!!
some things i just can't tell u, i dun wan u to know,
both will end up feeling not gd . sometimes talking to u makes
me feel veri hurt, things i dun wanna hear just keep
gushing out from u . argh!! it sucks k . but...
nvm. i know u dun mean it either .

tml or later in e morning still gt sch . hais . likely tml till 2 pm only

now at national library. doing my research/ study for econs.
I"M SO SO SO DAMN BORED !!!!!!!!!
hen sian ah!! i simply just can't concentrate . argh!!
e thoughts in my mind keep wandering around,
all sudden xiang go bbp nia . hahas!!!

sometimes i really dun know wad i'm thinking about.
keep feeling veri low self-esteem. sick...

BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to JL !!

can't believe i'm like 3/4 done with my holidays assignments .
realli tired rushing those hmwks . hahas . lack of sleep!!!
needa go do somemore hmwk le . hahas .


wo jing tian hen kai xin,
seeing ur smile and laughter,
realli brighten up my day .
atleast i know u're living well,
eat more pls!! lose weight le

first day of sch,
i'm damn damn sian... still got so much work undone!!
need to finish gp summary and AQ, 10 tys chem qns,
havin math test tml. omg!!! wad shit nia... hahas


oh well, it's me complaining again,
let me complain k, cannot tahan .
have to try to divert the attention to my work,
atleast i feel occupied

present not yet done . omg .
really hope u will like it .
a bit rush out kind . sorry

omg . i'm only half done with my hmwk!! tml wan dan liao. hahas .
completed: math revision set c, all econs essays, gp vocab
half-done: gp comprehension, left with summary and AQ
not done at all: econs DBQ and case study, chem 10 qns of tys
haven touched yet, only having e 1st draft: CSE PROPOSAL, haven go do research !!!
DIE DIE DIE !!!!! me dun care le, atleast i did some?? going to bed, tml first day of sch, first period, PE = height and weight -.- going chiong hm tml go chiong my cse proposal and also 10 qns of tys . hopefully tml i dun kena scolding and booming from william chan!! **fingers-crossed** he look scary!!

first day of sch: beginning of Jc2, the monster-like yr - SIANZATION

everything doesn't seem to goes right. wo hen bu kai xin!!!
had a small "conflict" again. ya, i know i'm wrong, and at fault . sorry for my ren xing . i know ni wei wo hao . i'm veri xin wei actualli aft e conflict and i reflect back . i dun know hw things gonna progress in e future, but i'm gonna stay on. i nvr make such a decision b4, i hope i won't regret. for now, i'll try to focus on my studies, i'm trying to create some interest of me towards my studies. which i had promise u, and u too promise me to concentrate in there . i still have quite a lot of homework undone . i saw my new timetable, omg, it sucks. realli . longer duration for each lessons . and i haven finish making e present, and the date is so near! okie, going back to gp hmwk already .

e qns whether to stay in e sch team or quit and just focus on youth cup kept in my mind for quite some time, i need to make a decision somehow. i only can choose one, A'dvs or Youth Cup. many ppl, of course, encourage me to choose youth cup, a better team, better environment, better chances of winning . of course, basketball isn't just simply putting tt orange ball into the hoop, isn't about winning the game . it's about teamwork, teamspirit, team play, team bond. in sch i'm a captain, in hornets i'm a player . jl did ask me this b4 also, u want to be in team of all newbies, and by ur effort/encouragement plus e coach and bring this batch of newbies up to a greater height, joinning A'dvs if possible or a team with stable and good standard, and win matches like li suo dang ran de? in sch, standard of e team compare to hornets is obviously huge huge huge gap. a team trying to earn a chance to play in A'dvs and a team striving to get top 4 in youth cup . who likes e taste of losing, no one does. frankly speaking i dun, i hate it, A'dvs 2008 is the worst defeat i ever experienced . total rubbish . i know e coach tried his best, i tried mine too somehow. i dun wan e history to repeat itself again, i dun wan e same defeat, e same "look-down" sight of e others, mocking at us . we tried, we realli did, but do e public sees tt, no i dun think so. i dun wan to sent a team to let ppl mock at. ya i know, my teamates really wish to play in A'dvs . but e effort and standard really not there, some still dun get/know wad's basketball realli is about . we mayb bonded and close with each other, but somehow i still dun find my heart belong there .

A'dvs and ISSBLE is realli a diff type of standard, we can't even play well in ISSBLE wad about A'dvs? i realli dun know . maybe e inner me has already come to a decision already, to leave e team no matter whether there's good players joinning in, unless it realli let me see tt hope again, but i have this responsibility tt i can't let go, it's pulling me back. making me dun know wad to do. is not because e standard of e team tt i make my decision on, but on where i feel tt my heart realli belongs to. if i realli choose to leave in e end, pls forgive me. my heart still belongs to my 4 yrs of friendship de team, the stuff and e past of what i and them gone through together is realli beyond wad words can describe. i still find my real sense of belonging there, i need support through my bball journey, i need understandings, real understanding of me, and not walking on e path feeling alone.

sometimes i felt insecured and scared,
thoughts just ran wild inside my mind.
but i know it shouldn't be the way .
things will change, me too...
it gonna be a brand new me .

i hate myself ...

me now at sch.. staying overnight. hahas . just now went to pe office to find mrs loh, den her hubby and daughter came in too, her daughter so cute lah!! hahas . her hubby also a teacher too, they look so loving lah, so envy. her hubby like veri teng her . hahas .
i'm now waiting for my dinner to come, so bored!! haven bath yet also. hehes. smelly smelly .

i'm bored !! atleast someone is still msg-ing me. hahas . not tt sian. hahas .

had a deep reflects and thinking back...
i dun wan to dwell, avoid, run away anymore. it's sucks, really.
why bother so much? i shouldn't kept thinking of other's goods,
i do hav mine too isn't it? i'm not tt bad either.
i' gonna CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE.
letting go and dun bother tt much sometimes is a gd thing too.
unknowingly, i've been stressing myself up alot, comparing, worrying..
needa let some stuff go, life still goes on yeah.

going to edit/change e pics in my blog soon!!
but simply quite lazy to change now.
hehes . sorry, links not up yet =P

3 jan

botak jones: dinner gathering @ batok's botak jones
ppl there: jy, yh, xy, pr, pz, blacky, me, xh, hazel
everyone was LATE, and realli quite late de lo. hungry me =x
had our dinner there and den went to e airport .

airport: stayover @ T2
ppl there: everyone exclude xh

we went to mac first and have our gifts exchanged!!
omg, i simply love e gifts i gt . and also thks yh !!!
had photos snaped den we went to starbucks .
some of them was hungry again, so went to poppeye to buy food.

it was den the horrifying msges came in, yah, really break down instantly.
cried, confused, hurt. yh keep sitting beside me, an wei wo . really did just pour out all my thoughts and feelings, i nvr thought i would do/able to do tt . things turn out wad i really dun wan it to be but somethings are just cannot be forced, soon all of them came back, but i'm stillin tears, shocked them. aft a few msges, able to calm down, although at tt moment i still dun wan to/cannot accept the fact,must somehow my emotions are stabled. manage to stop crying. maybe it's really God's plan for him to tell me all those stuff when i'm with jy they all. atleast they are there, i felt so much better, if not if i'm at home, gosh!! can't imagine facing tt alone. although e inner hurt/impact is great, but no point kept on crying right? just let time do e talking. but the feelings for him won't change de. he's the one, i dun wan to hav any regrets.
it's e first time i pluck out so much courage, i won't give up.

aft all are back, eat, drink, joke. we started to get bored. den we started to fool around, playing touch rugby using my chickmunk pillow. veri dui lian, but realli fun. we snaps a lot of photos, kept on playing and joking around. aft a while, butts are back on the sofa, we started to talk about how's each other life, blah blah blah . soon!! 5 am in e morning! omg!! we survived !! no sleep leh . but at tt time,majority are like zombies, only xy tt crazy girl still veri high. accompany jy to check in, den crap with coach while, took some photos and HOME-D!!
didn't get to chance to sleep, bathed, went to church, den to united square,den SLEEP !! finally