had a happy time with darling =D went for swimming early early in e morning with darling. and jy came over to join us too . hahas!! around 20 laps?!? tired... -.-llll hahas . aft breakfast, we went to airport, to recieve his mortal. **awkward silents** i know u feel very bad . soon or later she still needs to know? hope time will really heal? love can't be force too.
i feel bad too, i understand how she's feeling. but, i think we're quite helpless though. actually i feel u should clarify with her? i scare it may cause misunderstandings between u ans her? it's too sudden for her i think, she will feel a lot of doubt and wonder wad exactly had happen? why all this girl all sudden appear? maybe, msg her again aft a few days? she will feel u do care about her, but as a brother? a gd friend? i don't really know and understand, how's u and her for the pass 1 yr, i believe she's really a understanding girl?
if u really feeling not okie, pls share with me? hahas . and i don't want to lose u too . i'm kinda scare actually.
sorry, don't meant to add onto ur unhappiness . it's really very qiao . don't worry about me . he's very nice to me. and time will tell everything nobody's life is a smooth sailing one. maybe ur are tt chosen suay one, but i believe, every storm, there's e light . jia you!
15 November 2009 9:33 PM
feels: sian ( in e mid of A's)
half way through the super draggy A's . tired lots of worries, anxiousness, disappointments, fears everyday keep on wad if wad if wad if?? i really scare i end up in SIM, which i really don't want . arghh...
wad if, i really end up choosing another? i don't want to ying man ni, cos i think is unfair to you. i don't know hw to tell u. but actually for few weeks, 4-5weeks? before, during A's and now, i, jy and him have been studying together. we have been msg-ing too . i'm so sorry . i know u will feel very shity about me. i'm sorry . i did think before, yah wad will happen aft he enter army? evrything will be like something e same again . will i change my heart half way through? i chose him le. i'm sorry . after going to 10 mths of u going army, i know so much better and clearly, how it is like, i outside and another inside army. i didn't promise him, tt within e 2 yrs of army i'll for sure wait for him. but i'll try my best . and i believe, his faithfulness and love is worth me waiting. and now is purely up to me whether i can pass this time barrier. i'm sorry . we're still hao peng you right? u're still e most caring brother .
24 October 2009 11:00 PM
am i or am i not?
HAO FAN AHHH!!!!! falling into the trap willingly.... entering a brand new start line. anxiousness,jealousy,sweet,cute,gentle.
21 October 2009 11:23 PM
Feels: better .
dun feel so sick today! still having tt manly voice though ( and i tou chi ba gua still) hahas!! bah.... quite turn off now, just receive news tt tml gt CSE lecture *yucks* but i ain't going ! gt jimmy's remedial. i need to do well for econs!! one of my most hopefull subject i guess. hahas
okie, going to mug in sch tml =D REALLY NO TIME !!! when i see the calendar, how i wish i have atleast a week more?! omg. how i wish i see the columns/rows wrongly tt i still have atleast 1 week more . dang!! this most likely to be my last post till 1st DEC'09 !!
peeps, pls pray for me! and J2s WORK HARD! all the best! (although u all are my rivals, argh! but we're no doubt on the same boat now) JIA YOU !! byes!!
18 October 2009 11:29 PM
Feels : irritating/GUILTY
i having sore throat !! ahhh... irritating, itchy throat -.- feel like scratching the walls of the throat, wad tt bio term? gullet? hahas!! can't remember . is like needles poking my throat.
i didn't study much today . SUPER GUILTY !! ahhh . should i go study now? yes i should right?! yah . going to do my econs? or should i do math? haiyooooo.... i'll math bah . hahas . dang...
lots of things happened today . lazy to talk about . it isn't something pleasant also . i'm really scare tt i can't make it for A's . hais . how?!?!? wad should i do... i'm studying... revising... issit goin to work? really afraid now . how's other doing now? are they studying much more harder than me . i know i haven been putting 100% effort .
AND !!! ALL THESE NEED TO STOP !!! 100% EFFORT !! 100% !!! no more half hearted girl! u cannot afford to be the way u use to be le !! WAKE UP GIRL !! WAKE UP !!!
ni dui wo tai hao le... super not use to it . i don't know, i can't figure out what/how u're really feels? wad's ur thoughts? as in feelings . ahhh... so weird right?? dun ever treat me too well . esp guys, this is a warning . all guys out there, dun ever treat girls too well . not gd de .
sam and gab ask me b4.. wad if one day i found out u are going out with another girl "secretly", wad will i do/feel . for tt instant, i dun know wad to reply them . i dun know wad am i feeling . i feels tt ya, it's okie, i dun hav the rights to be angry, i won' t feel it's not okie or being cheated or wadsoever. but for a second thought, will i be able, or will i really feel this way, can i really accept it as "it's okie" i think i can, but i think, mayb i can't . weird . wad's this? -.-lll
den this qn came across my mind, wad if one day i tell u tt, i dun love u anymore, i dun hav tt special feeling anymore, not because someone has replaced u. wad/how will u feel? will u mind, or u won't even feel a single thing at all?
13 October 2009 11:25 PM
Feels: afraid, worried
my wai po isn't doing well . 80 plus yr old le, and she just gt a mild stroke. and tt doc said tt she can be discharged aft 2 day out form HCU ?! she haven even recover well i think . she's now back home . but from wad i heard, she's really not doing well . lost of appetite, she dun even have the strength to walk for like 5m? and she kept on sleeping whole day . it isn't a very gd sign . the amount she eat and drink is like so little . she won''t have tt strength and nutrients de gosh . i'm really afraid . i haven done my part well to visit her regular. our huang tai hou's face more and more qiao cui each time i visit her . going to have my A's soon . i dun wan anything to happen. for my sake and for hers too . everyone, pls pray for her recovery . thanks .
God, pls atleast let me have a chance to do my part as a grandaughter ="(
10 October 2009 11:22 PM
Feels : unproductive .
went to Jy's sch to study with her and benjamin . hahas . kinda weird at first. it's not my sch. and is like some top JC, feel so diff . whole sch was so quiet, only can hear our own writing sound and benjamin's sneezing (havin flu) hahas . for 6 hours, i only finsh econs hmwk, one math prelim paper, and compre's all short qns so slow and not productive !! but i think tt's my hmwk for the week? except for chem, which going to do it tml i suppose . hais . am i to slow? gosh .
and... yah, studying period, i for sure gain weight . eat and sit down eat sit down . argh... 2kg leh!! need some control.. no eating for the coming week, save some money, going deficit real soon.